A Monday in February: A Story of Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide Hardcover – July 23, 2025

A Monday in February is an invitation to walk through the darkest valleys of grief and emerge with a deeper understanding of love, resilience and hope.In February 2021, Lily Crowder's world was shattered when her youngest son,Ezekiel, took his own life at the tender age of fifteen years old.Ezekiel, known as “Zeke” by many, was full of life, charismatic, kind-hearted and known for a smile and sense of humor that could light up any room. His death sent shockwaves through his family and community, leaving them to wrestle with understanding mental health.In this deeply personal account, Lily opens her heart, sharing the raw, unfiltered grief of a mother who has lost what can never be replaced. Through journal entries, personal memories and spiritual reflections, she navigates the impossible - learning to live with both sorrow and joy.This is not just a story of grief and loss, this is a story of transformation.“A Monday in February is raw and honest, and scary, but somehow in the Spirit every tear and honest cry leaks hope and wisdom. Thank you Lily for your courage, which I know is not courage, but desperation, yet desperation you courageously embraced, which in and through you has become light in the terrifying darkness for us all.”~C. Baxter Kruger, Ph. D., author of the international bestsellers The Shack Revisited and Patmos"A Monday in February is honest and raw. It is also tender and redemptive. In it, Lily Crowder recounts the tragic story of the loss of their son, Zeke, the telling of which is only possible through a genuine discovery of the goodness of God. I have found that there are measures of God’s presence that can only be found in the valley of the shadow of death (Ps. 23:4). And while I cannot imagine the kind of pain that this family has suffered, His promise remains: I will be with you. I expect that everyone who has the privilege of reading this book will be overwhelmingly thankful that the author could capture their story with such vulnerability and inspire healing in us all. A Monday in February will no doubt serve as a bridge for those who have experienced tragedy and have yet to find genuine hope and a deeper faith in God."~Bill JohnsonSenior Leader of Bethel Church, Redding, CAAuthor of Removing the Sting of Death and God is Good"We say thank you for going beyond your own pain and turning it into beacons of hope and signposts along the road. Indeed, in the utter acceptance of what will never be understood, the goodness of God is still known. I not only recommend this book to parents who have lost a child but also to those of us who have our quivers full, to perceive with a new clarity that the only actual way to see our lives and one another, is in the light of eternity. Forever thankful for this gift of hope and perspective"~Lydia du Toit, co-founder of Mirror Word Read more